Feb. 20th 2008Today is our sweet baby Taylor's birthday. This last couple months have been a little shaky for me although its been such a blessing...
I have been thinking a lot about our first little baby Taylor. She passed away March 2008...each month on the 20th(the day Taylor was born) I think Taylor would be 3month...6months...11months and so on today. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about her. Than again on the 17th of each month(the day that Taylor passed) is a real big tear jerker for me. This day I sit and ponder. I love going up to her graveside just to think. Its so beautiful up there its in the mountains where the prophets are all buried...President Hinckley, David O' Mckay and many more. There are deer and fox that run through there all the time.
So today...Taylor's birthday, first Cammon and I just sat in bed and reminisced on sweet memories with Taylor. I remember the first time I saw my sweet little angel...ohhh she was so precious and little. When she first looked at me tears filled my eyes. She was so tiny and helpless. She was just perfect, right from the arms of Heavenly Father. I loved going in to see her at the hospital. Just holding her sweet little fingers and those itty bitty toes were such a joy. And to think she was really mine...all mine :) I longed to just hold her in my arms...if I could then I knew she would be okay. I remember staying there late...into the early hours of the next morning...but still it wasn't enough. I know it sounds a little weird but I remember the first time I got to change her diaper...and I was so happy to do it. There was very little that I could do...check her temp. change her diaper, at the end I helped in a sponge bath. Each time was such an amazing memory that I don't think too many people get to experience. Cammon and I would read stories to her daily. Her favorite story was The Gingerbreadman, she would always get excited on the part "run run as fast as you can you can't catch me I'm the Gingerbreadman". We had family prayer at night. And I always would sing her songs...my favorite was A Child's Prayer (Every time I sing it now it seems as though she is listening) I also love the song Miracle by Celine Dion. I can't sing it as well as Celine so I would let her listen to it sometimes. I remember holding her for the first time...what an amazing gift! I especially remember her last day...when she was free from all the machines, as I held her I felt each breath wondering if it was the last. She stayed with us for about a hour, she passed away in my arms. After she had passed, Cammon and I laid with her in the middle of us. (Our little family) A perfect angel sent from up above. I wish I could have taken all the pain and suffering away from her. I know that she is in a better place. And I will be able to be with her again.
After we shared these wonderful memories we listened to her funeral (on CD). I made her some brownies(for her Birthday cake)...which we ate them all that night. Then we went up to visit her at her graveside...It was so peaceful, we saw a pack of 7 deer walking through the valley. We sang Happy Birthday and A Child's Prayer.
This day turned out so amazing and peaceful...it felt like she was really here with us.
Happy Birthday sweetheart we miss you tons!!
Aunt Holly and Grandma Price sent the most beautiful flowers to Taylor for her birthday...Thank you!! I know that she would love them...they are pink :)
1 comment:
Oh Nikki! I don't know how you are so strong! I cry too! I miss her too! Her Birthday was a hard one. I think about her often and it breaks my heart to think of you! You are amazing! I know little Taylor is with you and watching over you! She probably told Treyden to give you lots of hugs and kisses for her. She knows this is hard for you. I love you little sister! You are beautiful and incredible! That's why Heavenly Father gave Taylor to you!
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